Kothiyavunu.com -Flavors reminds Gods Own Country

Kothiyavunu.com -Flavors reminds Gods Own Country

Opinions, opinions ?

Well, here it is, my questions to those of you who are up for a discussion ?

The other day, by the blazing fire of bbq coals on a cold cold winter night, I met an interesting young woman. She is currently pursuing a degree to become a Chartered Accountant (this information is not necessary, but, it makes me proud to see a young woman with dreams). So, well we got talking as most women do (another stereotype, that is totally getting onto my nerves !). The topic of discussion was women, our place in society and our 'boundaries'. Knowing how opinionated I am, and am proud to be, the word boundaries did not go down too well with me, and hence I fired up a debate.

Why do we state boundaries for ourselves ? Aren't boundaries, primarily constricting ? I would prefer limits, not that a choice of word would change the emotion. But, boundaries and societal and limits are personal. At least according to me. Limits are when I decide that one glass of red sherry is just about all I can take, and boundaries are when society states that a man can drink but to a woman, it is taboo. How so ? Isn't drinking universally a bad idea ?

We have, as women, limited our horizons by our own will. We have succumbed to stereotypes and agreed to being the weaker sex, mind you, 'weaker' not 'fairer'. So, as the discussion progressed we spoke about the cage that is self created. We have agreed that we belong within the four walls of a home, OUR home, yet we fight to survive the fast paced economic rat race. We have agreed that OUR man must only and only come back to OUR house, but step out and find solace in OTHER men. So who is really confused ? Us ? Or the men ?

I would say, its time we analyse our own roles in our own lives. Striving to be something that we don't even completely agree with. This young cyclone wants to be a 'working woman' but has set boundaries ? Dreams are endless, aspirations are limitless. Then where does boundary feature ?

We are desperate, desperateee for our spot in the sunshine, yet we are running farther away from it by succumbing to the dogmas that surround us. Who do we WANT to BE ? Where do we WANT to GO ? Or are we just fighting the battle with the MEN because it seems like that's what everyone is doing now ? Are the men in our lives really threatening our individuality ? Or are we analyzing them based on what we 'hear' ? Are we one of the few fortunate women whose spouses don't physically and mentally abuse them and actually allow them the privilege to fight for their rights or are we the oppressed lot who get burnt, beaten and murdered ?

If we don't fall into the abused category and are primarily well taken care of , then what is all the noise about ? Are we using the current woman's Lib forum to manipulate our partners ? Or perhaps just to gain sympathy ? Yes, there are women out there who are being treated like lesser humans, so ? So, let's help THEM ! Let's look into the various issues that ACTUALLY surround women on a daily basis rather than whining to our actually caring spouses that they did not clear the trash out in time. So what if they didn't ? Well, nor did we !

I'd say, let's take out the trash once in a while, let's make breakfast on the weekend for once, let's go out to the park with the kids, let's NOT do our nails this week ! And let's go out there, find out what's troubling women with real problems, pull up socks and get down to helping make a REAL difference , and well, let's just stop whining about the men who we have, who do their best, EVERY DAY ! :)

Here is where, your opinion is being sought out, do you or don't you agree that we are complaining for NOTHING ? Are there boundaries ? Do we need to keep within society's idea of what we CANNOT do ?

Thank you for your time, and I hope the answers help. Please don't get catty on me ! ;)

forever and ever or just until .. ?

Well, so I realised that updating a status on facebook or tweeting is a bit limiting and I miss being able to say what I have to in a little more than 400 words. Obviously, that does make me sound like a bit of a talker, but, then again, who is to say that keeping quiet is what makes the world twirl ?

It has been a long time since I tread the lesser known territories, but, now that I have my writing gear back on, I am hoping that the world as an oyster has expanded slightly more than I remember.

A lot of interesting questions popped into my head as I put the finishing touches on my first chapter, and I have been far too smug about finishing just chapter 1 that I have not really got around to chapter 2, verse 1. Calling this stage as a writer's block would be optimistic of me. I seem to have had the writer's block for more than a few years now. I can safely blame facebook for this uncharacteristic change of events, with it asking me every time I refresh the page, 'what's on your mind ?' Typing down what my mind has been mulling over every few minutes, drains out the ideas that I might have otherwise placed in a column or in an article. Since I have my excuse in place, I can safely say it is time to 'get on with it' !

I must also add that I do sorely miss put an emoticon after each sentence as texting and facebooking (if there be such a word) have made me accustomed to.

The question that popped into my head today was, have we all forgotten the idea of building bridges ? How many of us in recent years have cut off from people who were a past of our past, or as I would like to put it, part of our 'history' ? We have come to the jet age where its easier to let go of old things. I remember my first mobile phone, it was a sony ericsson, model something something. It was so special to me back in the day, I remember checking on it every few minutes, keeping it charged at all times, I don't think I ever had the 'low battery' issue with it. There were absolutely no scratches on it and it had a nice jingly attachment with the symbol of my zodiac sign hanging from it. I guarded it with my life, at most times, until of course my life was on the line (as it has been every time I attempted to cross a road !). Over the years, I have used a number of mobile phones from different companies, in different countries. From a black and white display, I moved on to colour display, then came the infra red phones, then the bluetooth sought me out. As the years went by, the prices of my mobile phones increased and so did their functions. At one point, I saw myself with the 'camera mobile phone' , having a digital camera at the time, I had really no use for the camera in the mobile phone, but it seemed like the right thing to have at the time ! Eventually, today I have the 'smart phone' which removes the need for a camera, a computer, a digital diary, a walkman (yes, that's what I used to use in order to listen to 'good' music) and all other electronic gadgets. What I did notice had changed from my sony ericsson days was that even though now my phone is probably 10 times or more the price of my first mobile phone, I am far less careful with it than I was with the sony ericsson. I usually forget my phone at every place that I stop during the day. I have left it at the table in Dairy Queen, inside the machine at the airport, in the public restroom at my office, and many more unusual places. I realise I have become careless with it. Perhaps because I know that there are far nicer 'smart phones' out in the market and if I were to misplace the one I currently have, I can go and pick up the latest model of the latest hot brand and 'replace' my current phone.

Have we become that careless about our relationships as well ? I remember the days when we would weigh our words and double check our actions in the mere attempt to NOT hurt our friends and families. We would be cautious about the things we did and the decisions we made. We were a lot more caring and attentive of the people around us. Has the jet age, use and throw mechanism of today made us less intuitive of feelings and longevity ? The moment we see that a person or a relationship has become tedious, we easily 'replace' it with something 'better'. Whatever happened to forever and ever ? They don't even make movies of forever and ever anymore. Mobile phones are replaceable, houses are on rental agreements, jobs are contract based and relationships ? Well, relationships have become the dating saga. We have online dating, we have blind dating, and just about every kind of dating that is possible and even 'impossible'. And then we get bored, and 'move on'.

Is it that easy to find a new partner ? And whatever is the meaning of 'new' partner anyway ? Isn't a partner supposed to be till death do us apart or is it now, till the next one comes along ? We don't even make an effort to work on relationships anymore, because apparently 'there are many fish in the sea' , or are there really ? We end a relationship with the slightest of reasons, or sometimes with no reason at all. Is transference of love and loyalty second nature to us now ? We make promises to our 'current' partner and then forget about those promises ? We forget the dreams ? We forget the commitment ? Commitment has now become an oft misused term. Commitment today means, 'I won't sleep with anyone else WHILE I am sleeping with you.' Is that what it has come down to ?

In our search for 'the one' , are we allowed to walk over the hearts of those we don't think of as, 'the one' ? And even if we were to find 'the one' , how would we even know ? Perhaps we end up having a distasteful argument with 'the one' and walk away, like we have walked away from others in the past. And then is 'the one' lost to us in the sands of time ? Leaving us to a never ending quest of finding never never land ? Where is our sense of responsibility ? Or do we even have any ? Is finding 'the one' a task similar to finding another latest 'smart phone' ? Have we evolved to the extent that we don't realise the fine line between friendships and relationships ? Or have we entered the fast food era , where it doesn't matter whether you eat a burger or a pizza, all that matters is it should be delivered to you, under five minutes with no hassle or adjustment from your side ? Are we all looking for cut and dry companionship or have we become so 'independent' that we have lost the taste for long lasting relationships ?

swirling out of control..

As I sit, alone, on this dull afternoon, I cannot help but acknowledge the feeling inside my head. It is like how my braces feel against my teeth, constricting yet relieving. I want to say so many things, but, in the process of growing up, I've stopped speaking my mind. Somehow it feels more sensible to sit and watch. Listen to what other people say rather than provide my own insight. I want to learn what it is like to NOT be the centre of attention, to NOT have the world spin around you.
Every night, I listen to Jeremy, grandson of Kenneth and Gloria Copeland. His words seem to talk to something that is inside my head. Not quite me, but, me. I don't know if it leaves a mark on my soul or not, but, I sure hope that it does. If not right now, then, atleast at some point in the future.
God and HIS nuances. It is almost like I've lived in the darkness for far too long. I am struggling to get out of the shadows. I don't fight my battles like I used to. The tigress attitude has long left me. I no longer have the incentive to get into a war, its a bloodless battle everyday. Maybe that is the best way to live or maybe that's the only choice I have left. I look for peace, but, I cannot seem to find it. Is it inside me? Has it left me?
I sometimes feel old. As if time has slipped through the gaps between my fingers. I feel like I lost everything in those years when my actions were Godless. I know that I hurt many hearts and trampled many lives. I changed a few and sacrificed yet many on the alter of my climbing. It is all in the past, now, they say. But, is it really? Guilt has overtaken my life and I have lost the taste to live.
I don't really see the point of inching on, but, maybe that is my real punishment. To live with the guilt of what I have done. True happiness lies within the folds of life. I think I straightened life out way too much, leaving no folds at all.
Stop- be still. Ask for instructions. Follow the instructions.
I have stopped. I have stopped doing things the way I used to, I have altered my ways. But, somehow I cannot muster the courage to ask for directions. I should, but, I just don't seem to have the courage. It takes a lot of courage to admit that you are or were wrong. It takes courage to bend and ask for help. But, the Helper was sent by the Father. HE wanted me to ASK for help from the Guide. It would be only my folly to not see what lies before me. I have to accept my many faults and go ahead with whatever I have in my hands today. God is with me, or HE would not have brought me so far. HE loves me.
I don't know if those reading this blog will understand what I have written. For someone who has by far lived life by the quarter mile, it seems difficult to see me write about God and HIS ways. But, everyone, one day wakes up and sees the light. I don't know if I have finally seen HIS light, but, I know that I am walking towards it!

And it is finally just me

Why does yesterday keep repeating in my life? Its feels like all of my tomorrows are mirror reflections of my yesterdays. And today, as I gave my final shot at the only future I wanted to be in, it’s blew up in my face. And finally after years of running round in circles, I finally am alone now. Truly completely on my own. All my crutches are gone and now I am forced to stand on my two feet. It feels wobbly. It feels scary, but, I also know now that I have choice. I probably never did, and I kept postponing this day for various reasons. And now, I don’t know whom I am angrier with, myself or the entire world around me. It would be easier to be angry with myself as it is a single person, but, if I have only myself to live with for the rest of my years then, it wouldn’t make sense to be angry with myself. So, I choose to be not angry at all. I scream, yell and release this unending pain that I feel in the bottom of my heart. It will always be there and I will never be complete. Always a part of me missing. And now I know that I have to live with it. With sorrow comes tears but with realization comes salvation. It isn’t possible to please anybody without hurting yourself. So, I am not going to try to please anybody. I have to scrape through my life and that is work enough. I am tired of trying to fit in. now, I am just going to build my own little world away from everyone else. Because I seem to be happiest with myself. And that is probably the saddest thing anyone ever wrote. But, I just did and it does not feel sad anymore.

Readability

A writer's ability is gauged by the readability of his work. Readability is not just how your reader reads your work, it entails a great many rules. When I studied readability in great detail, it worried me to no end. As a writer (if I may be called one), I have never really considered so many points before penning down my heart's song. So, today, as I sit here with a steaming hot cup of tea, I wonder if what I am doing follows all those rules. Ironically, I had heard when I was very very young that there are no rules to being a writer. A writer can say what he wants, how he wants and where he wants. Apparently, that does not hold true in today's day and age when writing has become more or less a business.

One must have a clear picture of his theme, then he must zero in on his target audience and then choose the medium of communication. He must not use flowery sentences and he must use simple words.

If I were to consider all that, then I would have to stop writing because I have always believed that the essence of one's writing lies in the imagery one can create with the use of flowery words. I truly believe that writing in simple, everyday language can be done by anyone. A writer would use words that are rare, so that the reader picks up something of literary essence from the writing.

But, all that said, to be effective and to sell, one must follow the ground rules. Which means the phrase writing for pleasure is to be dumped in the heap of garbage that I had to throw out last weekend, but didn't.

The wild soul that I am, I have never really followed any rules. Not the rules of society, of institutions, organisations or any such. So, following rules to writing goes against my principles. Or not. If I have some dreams, I will have to make some alterations to my thinking.

In the past few months, I have made a great many alterations to my thinking and have changed all my beliefs. At my age and stage, it was a herculean task to change who I was, but, I can proudly gloat that I changed and am now well accepted by those who I care about. Those who I don't care about and those who cannot accept the new me, can go eat grass.

As for my writing, I am going to make special efforts to suit the writing that will be enjoyed by my target audience, will sell like hot cakes (do people care about hot cakes anymore?) and bring me lots and lots of money. Because at the end of all the serenades we tell each other, the only thing true that we probably don't admit is that money rules the world. And no matter how artsy we want to be, at the end of it all, we need lots of money for a roof on our heads, food on the table and clothes on our body. Nothing to cover the soul, I must add, because the soul is free, wild and wonderful. Whether I can be artsy in my life or not, I swear to allow my soul to always be artsy. Nobody can take that away from me. If anyone tries, I will forget readability and all that jazz and pull out my sword and cut his or her heart out. Or maybe not. =)

back again....

I have not been around these pages for a while now and I feel a bit out of place coming here now. So many things have changed in my life in these past few months that I have a constant heady feeling that leads me to believe that everything is super good all the time, which may or may not be true. Producing good work is not easy and in my case it seems to be a tedious job whenever I sit to write nowadays. Somehow for the first time in my life, I don't need to use my writing as a tool or a medium of communication. Back in the day, the only way for me to hear myself out would be to write down what I feel. Now, I just need to pick up the phone and vent my feelings. It is not about the sickeningly sweet sensation called love. I am too old and too mature to believe that love changes everything. It does not. I am not even sure if I can say that I know what love feels like. I probably don't. I have just found a bunch of people who genuinely care about how I feel. The one person who leads the pack of people who care about me is my father. I found him and I don't think anyone, ever, in the history of mankind got that lucky, not even those who discovered diamond and gold. I just know that finally, I have the one shadow over me that is not going to darken my life, but, protect it. I wanted to write a charming and interesting blog, but, I think I am writing something that is totally 'emo', be that a word.
What's it about paragraphs? I have to really put my mind to include it in my writing. My English teacher just returned a test paper with the words, 'paragraph, please', written across my answer in big bold letters. And Dezy, of course was the first person to tell me that my writing is preposterous because I don't use the coveted 'paragraph'! So, now, I making an effort to use paragraphs at all times. But, I wonder if I can use 'literary license' as an excuse for not using paragraphs? No, I won't. That would be wrong. Or not.
I know what I want to write about, but, the words are just not coming to me. Maybe, I should write a poem about it first, to get my thoughts flowing and then write a blog entry about it. Yes, I am using the whole suspense formula with not being clear about what I want to write about. But, you must realise I need something to get readers to come visit me and my last post did not help to keep my reader's population alive.
So, that said, I think I am going to stop here and come back when I have more to say, or rather more matter to discuss. Now, I obviously don't. For those who bothered going through this, Thank you!!
Take care and keep smiling.. =)